Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
