soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
