that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
