just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
