Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
