Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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