If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
this will be a night to untag.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
