Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
