Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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