Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Randomize
