I just threw up on my dentist
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
