she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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