I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize