Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
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I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
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Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize