end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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