Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
