Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
