considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
