Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
