P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
