we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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