i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
