i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Oh god it's open bar.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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