No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
