i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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