someone threw a dead crab at me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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