I hate your face
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
