I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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