youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
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I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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