That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize