no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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