8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize