Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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