too bad you live with your parents still
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We are all done wearing pants today
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
