oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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