I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
