Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
