Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
