Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize