WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
third nipple confirmed
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
