my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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