I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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