i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
