If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
