Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
