Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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