i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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