He kissed a someone with a penis
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
