Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
