We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
