Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
