First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
