Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
