So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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