Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
