so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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