after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
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To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
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i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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