i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
