Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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