party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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