***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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