and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize