Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
