The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
