Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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