Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
