he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
