I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
