loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
