Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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