either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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