I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
