it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
