New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
