Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
